Jay will be getting out of the hospital on Tuesday after 23 days. The man (who always speaks of himself in third person) has spoken, "Jay is ready to go home." We are ready for Jay to go home. The other night - one of the hundred nurses who has just fallen in love with his compliant, over-greatful, not-quite-demanding-enough personality, offered to take him home with her. I about jumped over the counter to strangle her. 'Cause you see 3 weeks ago I thought we had lost him. And I guess - maybe I'm still a BIT touchy about losing him.
You see my parents did something right 32 years ago when they invited him into our family. They invited the embodiment of consistency into our home. For the week that Jay was on the ventilator and could not breath I could eerily hear his voice whisper to me - his pat phrases - his life long quotes of confidence. Jarod said one night that when he spoke to Jay he could imagine his responses perfectly. Dad just said that Jay was his best friend. And I just kept thinking over and over again of the prayer he repeats - morning, noon and night, "Thank you for this good morning we're havin' - everyone of us - everyone of us - thank you for this good mornin'." At dinner.
My life - no matter the twists and turns has been blessed with the constant optimism and good will of Jay. When he had been moved to the second floor surgical unit and we had various people sit with him on a rotating 24/7 schedule - he would often comment to the outgoing friend, "You had a good time with me here. We had a good time." Yep - check those vitals, change that ostomy, hear that dangerous wheezing for breath, unkink the tubes. Thanks for that great time we've been havin' Jay. And in Rehab "I'm gettin' better - you know Jay's gettin' better. Stronger." Putting forth more effort and willingness than any nurse has ever seen to overcome his new limitation, and demonstrating a surprising level of comfort with awkward things like new CNA's spilling the ostomy bag all over him. And why am I surprised? His whole life has been filled with gracefully overcoming obstacles and adjusting to the limits pressed upon him. He was made by God to overcome insurmountable odds with grace and humility. He was meant to show us the way.
...
So I was at a meeting the other day and they were all talking about the overall "aging population" of the DD community (people like Jay). And they had their theories on why. And I have mine. But there are factually fewer people like Jay in the world. In the 1980's they were released from institutions into our communities. Now there are just fewer. In effect our society got one generation of Jays. There are not enough of him to go around. Not enough of his humor. Not enough of his consistency. Not enough of his genuine gratitiude for each morning ... that lasts all day. Not enough of his generosity and his innocence. Some people will give you the shirt off their back - but Jay will give you much more. Once when we had been camping for three days Jay asked my cousin if he could borrow his toothbrush. My cousin and I couldn't stop laughing because - "why would someone ask such a thing?" The answer is simple: Jay would have loaned his to anyone - had he remember to bring one.
Jay will give us more than a toothbrush in the coming months - he will give us grace as we move from fellow farmers into the role of nurse. He will give us humor as we fail at that role again and again. He will give us insight as he more than "manages" - just like he has his whole life. And I can't wait to bring him HOME.
No comments:
Post a Comment