“Everything Good"

Saad Alnigather left us this week (not his real name by the way – they just gave that to him when he entered the country.) His real last name sounds like it is one syllable. I guess they were just trying to make things difficult for him. Like he needed more difficulty. His father died when he was 1 1/2 and he was raised by his mother and two sisters in Saudi Arabia. Think about that for a minute.

He DROVE cross country with his mother when he was 12 - because he was the man. He was NEVER disciplined because he was the son. He has the same liver problem that his father had – leaving him in great need of sleep, low in weight, and in sporadic fits of pain, sometimes sending him to the hospital for months on end. He is a small, shy, sleepy Muslim trying to learn English in Hays, Kansas. The least they could have done is give him the last name Smith. He thought so too – so he changed his name to “Happy Tippy” half way through his stay here. I will always just remember him as Happy Saad.

But I dare say, we will never understand him. The filial piety, the indirect communication that is nothing short of big fat lies, the respect, the communalism, the faith that borders on fatalism, the demand for holiness, the knowledge that holiness is not within us.

We had a conversation once, when his English was still something to reckon with, about the afterlife and how one secures a home with God. In short, he communicated the “Saad Standard” - he was pretty sure that anyone as good as or better then him was in. He also had a “Saad standard” in which a healthy diet required no vegetables and at least 4 snickers, coffees and cokes a day – as well as an after dinner pizza. He had his own time standards, cleanliness standards, money standards, communication standards, school standards, and sleep standards (at least 10 hrs. a day – and he did prefer them to be during the DAY.)

Happy Tippy – inhabited his own world but loved us in ours. Of the students he was the most likely to offer a hand in the kitchen – although he couldn't cut a potato to save his life. He was the most likely to offer me a candy and a tea and sit down for a long chat about our lives and feelings. He asked how I was doing in more than a passing sense, and when I asked him – no matter the situation his answer was, “everything good.”

At first I thought this was a way to avoid all confrontation and be overly polite. Then I found it annoying because he wouldn't vote in family discussion. Then I just found it utterly unhelpful but at least reliable in that I knew he really DIDN'T care about anything.

Three weeks ago, during one of our pre-dinner conversations he said to me, “Amanda, You know why everything good?”

“No Saad, why – please explain it?”

“Because my father die, my mother very sad, very hard. I in hospital month, month, month, very sick, very bad time. Now – the sun shine, I have friends, my mom happy I study, this better than that. This good. It doesn't matter.”

And I thought about it a lot. I thought about him hearing a tone of, “everything not quite good enough” in my voice – on perfectly good days. A tone of “maybe everything won't turn out ok.” And he had a confidence it would. I guess a faith. A faith so strong it easily falls into fatalism - like on the days he sleeps his classes away, and wakes to say “everything good.”

And I learned from him that the tight rope walk between faith and fatalism is a hard one to balance. But most days I am nowhere near the rope. I couldn't find fatalism in my soul if I wanted, so why am I so afraid to feel the faith that is in my head?

I believe in a sovereign God who works all things together for our good and His glory – that one day this world will be righted. I believe that He is using people to bring His kingdom to bear on this planet right now. I believe His hand is powerful and that it is not too short. That it reaches Saudi Arabia and that He wraps Saad in love...

Saad I do believe everything good.... I want to be an instrument of good and I want you to be an instrument of good too. Go Saad – know the God of goodness, and be everything good in your world.