gifts

I have fought it these six years. The “you are center of the universe” birthday celebrations that spew gifts, cake, wrapping, singing, games, and more gifts in so many different directions and days that your head hurts. I will spare you the list of “trial and failure” celebrations – that did anything but keep the extravagance small – just spread it over weeks and made the grandparents subversive. And tonight I sit, on the verge of a grand celebration of Jude's sixth birthday party. This coming after a weekend with Jarod's parents where they visited his aunt – who took them to meet a herd of new friends, took a trip to a zoo, the theater, and then to Chuckie Cheese. This coming after an afternoon of rainbow cupcake decorating to share with his class and Monday night dinner. This after a week of trickle in gifts from every last international student who caught wind of the Big News. After legos, and glow in the dark sticker and pens, mugs and power rangers. Only slightly before the big sleepover with best friend at Grammee's new house.
No, tomorrow our son will be surrounded by over fifty people. From the men on the B team of the Buffalo's special olympics team, to his blind great grandmother, and grandparent's co-workers, to his best friends, and his friends that happen to be his friends' mothers, to whatever troop of world representatives want to roast a few hot dogs with us on that night. There will be games, and laughter and cake, and extra sugar. And there will be gifts. Oh so many gifts. And I cannot stop them. Because he is loved. My reserve over his abundance does not benefit another child who lacks. My stress over slippery slope materialism does nothing to assure a safe landing. Greed is found in the slums and jungle villages as deeply embedded as in a palace. We want nothing more for our children than to learn to love well – to give unconditionally – to know deeply the needs of others and to love in word and deed and truth. But, we missed something somewhere. In our endeavor to avoid greed we missed gratitude, and in our endeavor to teach them to love we missed using every moment to teach them that they are loved. That love begets love. To live a life surrounded by people, means not only an opportunity to love but to be loved in return. And that if God is infinite then we are all each – loved by that God – at the center of the universe each day. And for that – each day – our first job is to teach our children to say “Thank you”.

Dear Jesus,
Thank you for my son... and all the good gifts.