battles i'm losing

It has come to my attention in the last couple of weeks that many of my ideals for life and parenting are waning. We continually remind ourselves that we must “pick our battles,” but sometimes I wonder if I pick mine based more on a probability of winning than a priority of the battle itself. So… for sake of humility… or maybe just in hope of comradery, I will list for you a few of the battles that I am currently losing.

Battle over violence (ironic wording noted): We have made an endeavor to steer Jude away from most things militant (not that we think a child cannot play with a toy gun and turn out perfectly normal but rather because we wanted to make sure that he did not play games that are offensive to other children or parents). We avoided toy guns, swords, etc., until his 3rd birthday party. When my mom suggested a pirate party, we kinda’ thought, “what’s the harm?” ~ a few cartoony pirates (they don’t really exist anymore anyway), a few fake swords and walking the plank. What can it hurt? Well, 2 months later he still pretends to be a MEAN pirate EVERY day – and we are all getting tired of being stabbed and “hooked.” In addition to the pirate violence there is also his Spiderman fetish, which seems to have come out of nowhere and a constant under-his-breath babbling about bad men. And if this all isn’t bad enough he recently asked for little army men to play with. Of course I said no but then he was playing with Carl’s army men and I saw that there was a whole bag of firemen figures. After watching them play imaginatively for an hour, I began to crave his ownership of such simple entertainment and said, “Well Jude, maybe I could buy you some firemen.” To which he smilingly replied, “Oh good and then I can pretend they are my soldiers!”

Battle over naps: I have 30 minute recording of my son’s imaginative conversation he had with his stuffed animals last week during nap time – but it was boring enough to put anyone – except apparently him – to sleep – so I decided not to post it. He only naps about two days a week now – the rest of those hours (approx. 10) – which I still force him to lay in bed, he keeps himself impressively entertained. Now some of you might say, “Give it up already.” I may have too except one older woman I talked to said, “It’s ok – kids need time to think… I don’t know about what… but it is good for them.” So, I consider it his thinking time now – not napping time – but on those 2 days a week when he falls asleep for a few hours it makes a world of difference in all of our lives.

Battle over sugar: Aunt Teresa sent our son a sugary “Shrek” cereal for Christmas. Apparently he is so sugar deprived and that cereal was so good it has made an everlasting impression on him. Every week when we go down the cereal isle he points to a different kid marketed – dentist unapproved cereal - and says, “Maybe next year for Christmas I can get the cereal.” I’ll tell you that gets WEIRD looks – especially in May. So, he is still pretty much the least sugared child I know… although he still gets more than a healthy amount (and would be the most sugared child in Portland). His parents on the other hand have fallen off the health wagon hard. First, I am starting to think this baby is a girl because I crave junk food more than ever. Second, I am starting to think my husband is a woman ‘cause he can take down sugar with the best of us. And finally our friends the Lowerys gave us 5 qrts. of ice cream and five different toppings which we have faithfully been partaking of 4 nights a week for the last 3 weeks – that gift combined with the expensiveness of fruit is going to bring a whole new meaning to “baby fat” around here.

Battle over innocence: this is generally not what one thinks when you say, “my 3 year old has a fake tattoo,” – but hey – if we are going to do something we are going to do it right. (This could also be titled – battle over laziness – since the whole reason he has this HUGE sucker is because I was too lazy to cut out the little piece in the middle that he really wanted.)