Good Friday

Well. 

 I had different plans for this week. 

 For this beautiful 80 degree weather... these days before a big beautiful Baptism of our children and a nice Easter Celebration with everyone we love. But with Lucy and now Jude running a constant fever – the plans for the week changed... and the weekend is looking a little bleak. I woke up this morning after another short up-and-down night of sleep and my devotional read, “Jesus, you are doing it all wrong.” I laughed. Because it just seems so stupid when you say it like that. But my moments of worry, frustration and confusion over little things like a worrisome long-lasting flu virus and changes in plans are nothing less than a rejection of how God is choosing to work in our daily lives. Like a senseless child banging on pots and pans - I take issue with His masterful orchestration of symphony of the universe.

But how it must have felt for the disciples that day – to look upon the One they followed as King – the One they expected to right all wrong – to overcome all injustice and evil. To hear Him say, “It is finished” and give up His last breath. This was not their plan and they saw no beauty here – only death and hopelessness. Hopelessness caused by the One they had placed all of their hopes in. And their thoughts as they looked on in disbelief... perhaps only fuzzily formed like my own, surely must have encompassed:

“Jesus, this is not a good plan.”

“Jesus, this is not how it is supposed to go down.”

“REALLY?..... REALLY?”

“So... this was all a WASTE?”

“Now what?”

“Jesus, you are doing it all wrong.”

“This... this is a VERY BAD Friday.”

And so today, as I sit with my measly little problem – sure to be resolved by Monday... I think of all those I love who sit at the foot of the cross each day. Those who have lost loved ones, suffer painful broken relationships, lost jobs, dashed dreams, chronic illnesses, ministries short on finances or careers short on purpose: my friends who have reason to believe that Jesus is doing it all wrong. And I want to say: this is not the first time it has looked that way. Not the first time it has looked that way to those who love Him dearly and follow Him faithfully.

But if Easter is true... if Sunday has come and the Resurrection is sure – then all the World is to be righted through darkest day, and the light of hope is only possible on the other side of Jesus' “worst idea.” As my friend said the other night, “Well, WHATEVER else does or doesn't happen... there was still that ONE Miracle.” That's the point of Easter. Because of Easter we believe any miracle is possible. But because of Easter we believe no more our necessary. If we believe there was ONE Good Friday – we believe that ALL days are Good in Him. However "all wrong" it looks.

Blessed Good Friday

I am praying for you

Philippians 4:7-11

But whatever were gains to me I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage, that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ—the righteousness that comes from God on the basis of faith. I want to know Christ—yes, to know the power of his resurrection and participation in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow, attaining to the resurrection from the dead.

goodbye 4,685 photos

So what does one do stuck in a house with sick kids for a week?

Apparently delete 4,685 unneeded photos and videos from our computer.  It was cheaper than buying a new computer and now I have space to download my measly 350 photos off my phone.  I guess... I have moved away from OVER capturing the moment.

But here are the moments I have captured in no particular order:

So here is the winter view from my bedroom window.  I love this view... even if we are all getting a little anxious for spring.

We found 7 old mental chairs badly in need of welding and painting stuffed away in the shop.  It made for a nice winter project and a very fun front porch.

I noticed that a large portion of my pictures are old junk we are trying to sell on on-line classifieds.  Old Pin Ball Machine. Any takers?

My friend Kate and her sweet girls came for a short visit... after Lu's illness kept us from our trip to Denver.  I love these ladies!!

Again.... why am I tired of winter when it brings sights like this?

The girl's had their ballet recital.  Sometimes I wish my daughter wasn't so little and cute because she gets away with murder.  Notice - smallest child - one step ahead :)

So - this photo from mom's birthday cracked me up.  She has A LOT of random men in her life.

Our Spring Break trip to California to visit Allen and the Bernard family was AMAZING - with friends old and new!!

And now - we are sick - and getting our blood drawn

And - we have a duck. two ducks.

And they built a Pergola in Joan and Bob's back yard...

before it snowed AGAIN.

And that's what I've got. More is less. Goodbye 4,685 photos... I still get the picture.

Dear Someday Self

Dear Someday Self,

This season of life is full.  Too full for blogging.  That's ok.
And whatever season of life you find yourself in. That's ok too.
Even if you have NOTHING to do.  It balances out.

If you have a million close friends.  That's awesome.
Because there was a season when you felt very alone.
If you don't have any friends. That's ok too.
Because once upon a season you learned that Jesus was enough.

If your children are amazingly content with life and living their full potential.
AWESOME. It was worth it.
But don't get cocky - 'cause you know it was grace...
There was a season of every morning melt-downs and knock-down-drag-outs just to eat breakfast
All before breakfast.  Everyday.
That's THIS season... and it isn't my favorite.
If your children are still a mess... keep praying and loving (and I'll throw out any more tips if I have'm).

Dear Someday-self
I'm pretty sure your marriage rocks.  Because well... once upon a time God gave you a good guy
And good guys CAN'T run away.
And I chuckle about that.  I hope you still chuckle about that.
What a blessing.  Treat him well for me... He's been through a lot.

And someday self
I don't know if your house is still full of people and all the men are still alive
but if you sit alone - be happy - because you spent a lot of good time with a lot of amazing people
If your house is still full and the men are still alive...
Go in a room and sit alone for a bit - because you spend a lot of good time with a lot of amazing people
BUT they are still people
You know what I mean.

Someday self
Maybe you are reading this 1 month from now or 30 years
Either way - your parents and Jarod's parents could be gone
I hope that the seasons from here to there were an ever growing -
exponential recognition of how amazing they all are
and I hope that somewhere between here and there you had a chance to let them know

And finally, Someday self
Whatever the house of your life looks like  -
Please remember this,
Proverbs 14:1 says, "The wise woman builds her house."
So, that was kind of the plan. For the hours. The days. The seasons.
Build a good house.
But Psalm 127:1 says,
"Unless the LORD builds the house, the builders labor in vain."
He has his own plan...

Please let me know how it turns out.  Some days my faith is pretty wobbly.

And yet, "Jesus please build this house..."