equalibrium

So... life goals change.  I joke among my friends that the key to happiness in all areas is, "LOWERED EXPECTATIONS."

Jarod and I's real life goal at this point is to be those people whose life is so organized that they clean out their gutters BEFORE their basement is flooding and they are screaming at each other from either ends of a half broken ladder in a downpour and 40 mile an hour wind.

That's all.

Also, my new definition of equilibrium is when my schedule is so rhythmic and predictable that neither my house nor Bethesda runs out of bread or milk at an inconvenient time - nor do I find surprises molded and spoiled surplus.

That's it.

Today, bread molded at Bethesda and I ran out of bread at my house.  That is my definition of still adjusting. We won't call it poor planning. Ok?

Halloween Ritual

On Halloween day I began to get emails from previous students around the world asking... what the "theme" of the 703 Fort Halloween was going to be this year.  I think that means we have a tradition. A ritual.
I used to think that the value of ritual was security and sameness. A warm fuzzy feeling.  But I am beginning to see ritual as a framework for 'other'.  The starting place. For unexpected things like front yard Saudi Martial arts and haunted house melt downs and zippers breaking at the most memorable moments.
Like those dumb habits that they ingrain in you during drivers ed. Check three mirrors, two blind spots, and always use your blinker.  These things become so expected that they no longer occupy a space in your mind.  Instead your mind can drive.  So third year in of costuming more than a dozen people at 703 Fort - we have a ritual.  And it makes room for - one unforgettable night.
It begins in April.  In April Jude schemes  his costume - for the one day of the year that the rest of the nation joins us in his daily hobby of dress up.  By May, he and Grandma Joan have had a few powwows - and I am confident that her very skilled fingers, perfectionistic mind, and trusty side-kick Bob - have the kids completely under control (this year she even took on Jarod).
The rest could be a visa card commercial.  Thrift store finds:$50 - time lost: 5 hours - household condition: disaster - Memories made.  PRICELESS.

Grandma Joan's Sonic Themed master piece.  And two awesome dads to play along.

Maybe the only photo I have of Michael actually smiling.

P.S.  Jarod was prescribed the egg man costume because the children call him FAT every single day of his poor life.

The rest of the anime crew.

Me and my "roomies"

The whole family  (- Alice)

Kingson thought he was Neo

Then he found an afro on the dance floor right before "gangnam style".

These Saudi boys and I... for all of our differences... one thing is true - we all like to have a good time.

...but one thing we know... the Haunted House will NOT become part of the Halloween Ritual ever again. Right Seonjin??

I was raised by elves

I don't know where or how they first came into contact with it, but my kids love the movie Elf. Though I generally am quite a scrooge when it comes to the genre of stupid humor, I have found the movie strangely endearing. This week, while slicing apples by the fire with four of the men as we giggled at the October snow falling on the green trees, I realized that the movie Elf falls into a whole different category of movie for me.

You see, I was raised by elves. Apple elves, wood cutting elves, tree elves, garden elves, sweeping elves. They are very specialized. Six of them. Six elves instead of the seven dwarves. They are big elves. Everything they do has an assembly line/work for the joy of it, feel to it. Also – they strictly adhere to the Elves four major food groups of candy canes, syrup, candy corn, and... I forget the last one. It's a tough diet for aging pre-diabetics but they are faithful. And grumpy elves are hilarious. I feel bad for them – even when they really want to be ticked off – when you stand back and look at the situation the irony of it all is too much to even repress the smile. I mean, they really have plenty of things they could be angry about – like the fact that most of the world completely under appreciates and mocks them even though their main goal in life is to make the world a better place. But no, they never get mad about that. They just have melt downs over a bug that won't stop bothering them or the fact that they can't get the pumpkins picked because they are “running out of a day light”.

And I wish I were more like Buddy – taking my strange elf childhood of giving, sharing, joyfulness, playfulness, and assembly line skill out into the broader world. But I knew by a young age that I wasn't like them. I wasn't an elf. I wasn't handicapped. I was more. I could do more.

But now I know I can't. I know I am just not hilarious when I am grumpy, I have no team mentality, and I am not all about the joy. I always tell Jarod, when I completely disregard all sanitary protocol or social norms, “Hey, I really am far more normal than I have any right to be.”

I am so grumpy about my normalcy.

I hope that makes you laugh.

P.S. The other movies that fall into my strange genre of, “Could be a warped memoir of my strange life,” are:

I am Sam

As Good as it Gets

Dream Team

Ringer

Forest Gump

1 Corinthians 1:27

But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong.

like like. mostly.

I used to hate fall. I consider that now I great sign of immaturity. It must have been solely based on associations with school. Because what is not to like about shorter and cooler days? Nothing. There is nothing not to like about these days (that is a double negative so I think grammatically that sentence means “like like”.) I do like like them. I like like roasting marshmallows on a 20 foot pole at the homecoming fire and eating Beirocks every day for 9 days straight. I like like having enough time to host potlucks with women and children from 9 different countries (I like like – that this is no longer hard to do in Hays, Ks). I like like waking up looking for an extra blanket instead of soaking my pillowcase in cold water and climbing inside for a cooling effect (yes... that is how I spend summer nights). 

Also... Exterior paint can only be applied between 90 -35 degrees and when it is not windy... which in Kansas that means there are exactly 10 days a year that you can spend more than 3 hours a day painting. Those days where the last ten days and due to some awesome help and some LONG days – I'm almost done with the garage and laundry room painting! 10 more hours and I'll be golden. 

Also, the weather held for two great events at Bethesda. Friday night over 250 community member and international students came out for hot dog roasting and pumpkin chucking on the trebuchet. We also had an impromptu scarecrow making contest and (if I may be so arrogant) my butternut squash soup to feed 300 was an autumn treasure. Then Saturday night we got all gussied up for a Hoe-Down with the developmentally disabled community of our area. They do know how to dance... well past dark and well past my kids' bed time... good thing they were going strong on a roasted marshmallow diet.

In other news Jarod and Lucy are working on her Columbus day floating boat and Jarod switched his Suri to the British version... and then realized that she understood him much better when he spoke in a British accent... so yes, they have enter a strange new stage in their relationship – and more than just I give him strange looks, “Allo, please text mum that there shan't be dinner this eve-en-ing”. Jude is officially an orange belt in Aikido and due to a horrible event involving funnel cake and bed time he has learned a deep lesson about betrayal – that I hope he will not soon be forgetting.

So the days roll on... shorter and shorter... crisper... and crisper. Tonight mom and I and some girls will head out on our yearly search of “big trash” before people's treasures all get hauled of tomorrow... and I think I am going to bake something(s) this week. Because I can. Because it is cool in Kansas. And though I like, like my life - I do like to keep it real and often the 1,000 words that photos speak are lies. We had our second birthday cake fiasco here at home (due to the asian custom of giving birthday ice cream cakes as gifts - and limited freezer space)... and in one of these photos one of my brothers had just gotten done screaming "I HATE YOU,  I HATE YOU, I HATE YOU."  mostly don't like some parts of even the best seasons.

We have begun preparations for Halloween. Hilarious but not a like like ... until the final product.

Let's shut this month down

Life rating A.

So we went ahead and did a second round of the stomach flu this week – just for the heck of it. I am actually hoping we got it out of the way for the rest of the year. But... I seriously doubt it.

Jarod did pass his kidney stone right before … (wait for it!)... he and I went on a wonderful 3 day trip ALONE!! Ohhh... how romantic (and RARE). We went even though Kingson says we are too old to be romantic and kissing in the kitchen makes nine out of ten people in our family uncomfortable.

Sadly, the one it doesn't make uncomfortable is Lucy – not because she is too young to understand it but because she is ALL OVER romance. The other day Jarod and I and the kids were having a little private lunch and the topic of romantic love came up. Jude said the obligatory “yuck” - looked down into his soup pretending not to hear us, and Lucy proudly (and swooningly) proclaimed – “ROMANTIC LOVE - that is what I have for Isaac!!” It was disturbing. Especially because at age 5 this is her fourth proclamation for such emotion (fifth if you count her love for her oedipal father).

So ANYWAY.. we had a great time in Kansas City and Lawrence attending our friend Pete's wedding. And we were all alone – except for the constant companion of Suri. Which I am proud to announce that after the weekend – Jarod has officially dumped his electronic girlfriend. The upgrade apparently makes her entirely useless to him and since she is also not very romantic – I WIN. Also, I think it is good they broke up because he was very abusive to the poor thing. He treats me much better even when I can't find the nearest Starbucks.

In other news - we have pumpkins and gourds coming out our ears and though the beautiful fall weather is delightful enough to put me in a chipper mood even while scrubbing my bathroom floor – it has really kept people away from farmer's market. These people are missing the best of the summer produce, I tell you, but then again with the ½ in of rain we got we have time to put up produce for winter.

Today I am making a big batch of beirocks in honor of Oktoberfest weekend – We made a 20 foot marshmallow roasting pole in preparation for the upcoming bonfire – mom and dad both enjoyed their 45^th class reunions – Jarod yelled at only one poor drunken crowd outside of our house throughout the entire homecoming weekend - Jude is pre-testing for his next belt in Aikido – and laundry, bills and October await... 

... and against my better judgement I am considering trashing a bit of time watching our government shut down.  I hate getting political... (mostly because I am nihilistic about the whole thing) - but WHAT IS WITH THESE people??  That last comment I heard was that congress could not accept the healthcare it is placing on others because it would in effect be a massive pay cut and they would have to quit their jobs because they wouldn't be able to "make ends meet".  Who are these people - and did I miss the memo on what ends we are all supposed to be meeting?  So bring on October... with or without a government I guess.  If all of civilization collapses - head on out to the farm - we've got butternut squash soup, some common sense, and we love company.  

Here's the fam for the fall.

The great romantic... milking a fake cow at the state fair.

Hey look - my kids are being nice.

Surprise. Surprise.

Hey look - we are being romantic.

Surprise. Surprise. Surprise.

hard curve

Life rating:
I'm going with a B-.
Here is why.  I grade on a curve - and by comparison and my life is so generally wonderful that a kidney stone, a sinus infection, a knee surgery, and two cases of the stomach flu in the family within ten days qualifies as a plague.  I know - for the general population it is nothing.  For modern medicine it is a laugh... but I'm telling you it felt a bit like a plague.  Also - two kids in 3rd grade common core math homework. That is a plague as well.  Seriously - I'm calling all math teachers - WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS SYSTEM???


My mom is the chattiest sick patient ANY hospital employee ever met.  She should get an AWARD of some kind.

Who is living with us:
I introduced them already so I'd like to do a highlight the birthday girl.  Bianca turned 20 this week!  She told me the most beautiful story about how her mom called in tears on her birthday saying she never imagined it would come to this... her little girl so successful studying in America.  Doctors told her that Bianca would never make it and the pregnancy was a danger to her life so she should terminate the baby.  She chose life for Bianca - and the preemie little Kenyan girl now stands six foot tall proud in my kitchen laughing while washing dishes - holding a U.S. high school diploma and making her way quite nicely through college.  She has blessed my world.  So Maggie of Nairobi - thank you for making such a sacrifice 20 years ago - may God continue to bless you greatly!!



State fair fun




Sorry Maggie - I totally enjoyed scaring your daughter to DEATH on YE OLD MILL

One hilarious or horrible thing the students have said this week:
So pretty much we have had some pretty sassy dinner time conversations recently.  It boils down to this.  There are people in my house who "generally assume that the United States motivation is to take over the world!"  Let's just say in a global household there are some opinions - well thought out and not - about motivations in global interventions.  It also boils down to this.  There are people in my household who think that the best years of life are those which one's face looks the most charming.  It all goes down hill from there. Period.  It doesn't matter the quality of one's life if the face is wrinkled.  I get strange visions of botoxed nations in eternal cold war some times when I leave the dinner table.


Also - at the state fair they learned we could get one gallon of milk a day from a goat and now they want me to get a goat.


How the children are:
Other than the stomach flu - they are doing well.


Ok - this photo is old but was just given to me and it is my new favorite photo.


Or - maybe this one .. from a wedding in May.  This is what the professionals capture folks - so the bad photography of my children is not my fault.


But sometimes circumstances do help :)


Best friend sleepovers.


And crazy hair nights


And cheese billboards at the State Fair where Maysyn had the stomach flu.  AWESOME. That was a B- moment. Poor kid.

How work at Bethesda is going:
Only three weeks of salsa bags and now we are moving into pumpkins and butternut squash.  And it looks as it the butternut squash will last until the next century. Actually - I hate parties but I am considering throwing one for 300 people just to get rid of some squash.

The watermelons are now AWESOME!

About the house:
My cousin Paul is SUPER excited to power wash my garage so I may actually get some stuff painted!! And we are going to get the dormers sided... and maybe the gates finished... so the work carries on.

One thing God is teaching me:

We had our church missions conference amidst our household chaos... and it was beautiful.  To learn about what God is doing in Papua New Guinea and Japan... and church dinners... can't beat those.  Even if my son licked every single cheese ball and put them back in the bowl.  Yeah - so I'd say humility - is what God is teaching me :)