“Kid, be thankful – you've got a house, food, a family that loves you, and such a happy life. - So be happy or I will scream at you.” Oh wait – I already am. "If you don't want to enjoy giving a gift to some poor kid in Africa – I'll guilt you into it. Ok – so maybe you STILL don't want to give a gift – but at least now you are crying." That makes me feel better. Well, not really.
“Kid, all I'm asking you to do is make your bed and brush your teeth. It's not a lot. Quit complaining. You want to hear who has to do A LOT – well I'll tell you who – ME.” And after 20 minutes... he has an epic example of how to REALLY complain. And so the downward spiral goes – bad attitude, begets bad attitude and I'm guessing the chicken came before her egg.
But how to stop it? I'm still not sure – but in a moment of enlightenment brought on by Winnie the Pooh, a 5:00 a.m. Bible Study, and maybe a little guidance from the Holy Spirit – we are going to giving something a try.
The general colors of my issues and my sons are these: negativity, obsessiveness, selfishness, and anxiety. It is not a pretty combo. And the most bizarre part about this general outlook on life is that they are almost entirely figments of our imagination. They are “all in our head” - so to speak. Imaginary problems that pummel us to the ground – so my previous response to them in both he and I has been, “get over it.” But that isn't really work well for either of us. That's where Winnie the Pooh comes in. The new Winnie the Pooh is the tale of the “heffalump” revisited. Only this time the imaginary creature that is hunted and feared is called a “backsoon.” The monster is merely the result of the owl's poor literacy and the fearful imagination of the woodland creatures. Nevertheless they spend their whole day and all of their valuable possessions trying to trap it and save their friend who had simply left a note saying, “He was busy and would be back soon.” In all oft their imagining owl insisted that the worst characteristic of the “backsoon” was that he is “terribly busy.” And I laughed out loud because I thought of Jude and I as we run from place to place - thing to thing always keeping ourselves occupied in search of the next thing... the current is always such a hassle. The present such an inconvenience – always missing the gift – forever seeing the monster. And we are so terribly busy with it all. But of course it is all in our heads. So, we are going to try to bury our backsoons. I get it from my mother – when all else fails – make a chart. A gimmick, as Jarod says.
Mostly – I like to think of it as a reminder.
That the only way to bury a lie is with the truth.
5 Minutes to cuddle and pray after breakfast,
ten things to share in Thankfulness as we walk to school,
a memory verse to recite and speak the truth over the lie,
an incentive to get off the computer,
one thing to give to others... a moment.. a hug.. to remember all we have – and share,
and finally ten minutes just to sit together and laugh before bed.
Just because we are happy to be here – now.
And to do this – I must do less – my backsoon must be less BUSY.
And you know what?
His backsoon is shrinking... slowly, with my slow reminders at every whine and complaint – that we are working against that ugliness. We are a team against the backsoon – we are not at war with one another. We fight the same battle, and we will rejoice together in the small victories. My boy and I against our backsoons.
And I'll take this moment to share a thankfulness – for a trip gone well. Amazing weather, the best of memories – where I saw potential for disaster we only had laughter and excitement. We had the most beautiful of fall breaks.... our van of 10 traveling to the Ozarks and back. We were blessed – and not even the Backsoons got in the way.
We started the trip with a family thanksgiving in Marion... where there was a bathtub in the church yard. With such a wonderful photo op right off ... we knew it was going to be a great trip!
Happy exhaustion.
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