"My inbox is a toilet...

… and that’s why our country’s in the crapper.”

This is the first thought that flooded my half-conscience mind last week as I lay in bed watch Jarod complete his morning ‘informational-download’ ritual at the computer which sits at the end of our bed.
And here is why my inbox is a toilet. THE ELECTION. Now, don’t feel bad if you have sent me political propaganda over the last few months. I understand – it was necessary – you are passionate and that is admirable. And really, since I refuse to be involved in any proactive way I have placed myself in this sewage position.
But here is what I have concluded on this – the day I will vote. The election, my friends, is not about the candidates – it is about us. The thought that the act of voting is our highest responsibility as citizens of this globe is high on the laundry-list-of-lies that we the American people have bought into. This lie has bred, as far as I can tell, only three attitudes. Apathy, cynicism, and FEAR.
This is my pep-talk to myself against all three (because my schizophrenic self harbors them all) as I prepare to vote.

Apathy:
Timothy 2:1 I urge, then, first of all, that requests, prayers, intercession and thanksgiving be made for everyone- for kings and all those in authority, that we may live peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness.
I really have no right to complain about those in leadership because the amount of time I spend in prayer for them is PATHETIC. (Yes, even comparable to the sweet potatoes of last week!). Well, it is pretty hard to pray for people I know nothing about. I mean, sure I am spectator to as much mud slinging as everyone else –but I wouldn’t want people to pray for me based on biased gossip. As I was rousing myself from a long bout of political apathy I made a search for such nonpartisan information to which I met blank stares from those I asked and more cyber sewage. But alas I long for excuses and someone to blame for my disobedience and apathy.

Cynicism:
Daniel 2:21 He [God] changes times and seasons; he sets up kings and deposes them. He gives wisdom to the wise and knowledge to the discerning.
Even greater than my apathy for the political situation is my cynicism toward the entire system. I have a bad attitude. Yeah, that definitely drives the apathy. But this is ironic since I call myself a Christian. Christians are supposed to have HOPE, and as near as I can tell that is pretty antithetical to cynicism of a system that God is clearly going to work through to somehow bring about God’s glory and eternal good (no matter who wins.)

Fear:
1 Peter 3:13 Who is going to harm you if you are eager to do good? But even if you should suffer for what is right, you are blessed. "Do not fear what they fear; do not be frightened. "But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect, keeping a clear conscience, so that those who speak maliciously against your good behavior in Christ may be ashamed of their slander. It is better, if it is God's will, to suffer for doing good than for doing evil. For Christ died for sins once for all, the righteous for the unrighteous, to bring you to God.

1 John 4:17-19 In this way, love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment, because in this world we are like him. There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.
We love because he first loved us.

Where’s the love? I don’t know… I ain’t feelin’ the love. Oh and Ooppppsss… nobody has been asking me lately to give a reason for my ‘hope’…. Maybe it is because I have been giving off that cynical-apathetic vibe … or maybe that fear vibe like every other person who speaks to me about this election. Here’s the deal folks, God isn’t asking me to have ‘hope’ in any candidate. He has already sent a Messiah and that Messiah is suppose to be working in ME. And He never works through fear or hatred… EVER. So I pretty much think we have sent D.C. up a creek without a paddle and they are going to be frozen in fear and hatred and won’t get anything done no matter who is elected. It matters today HOW I vote much more than WHO I vote for. And it matters much more what WE DO in the 1400 days after we elect our president than in the 4 minutes it takes to cast a ballet. We are much more free to BE THE CHANGE we want in this world than an entangled bought-out politician is. You want clean air? You want to save babies? You want global health care? You want to stop war? Don’t wait for D.C. to make it happen… they are so stuck in boxes that the organic matter of my brain is starting to feel like a cubist art form! I’ve got some ideas on how we all ought to make this stuff happen…. They are WAY out of the box…. Oh and I am way out of time.

But on a final note – there is no room for pride in a voting booth, so maybe we could all use a prayer like Daniel before we cast our ballets… because we all made this mess together. (Daniel 9:4-19)

Happy hopeful voting and I will see you on the other side … where the real change begins!

Oh and by the way... this campaign started before this kiddo was born...

and if we keep up this ridiculous rhetoric we are more likely to have a civil war by the time she graduates high school than we are to either overturn Roe V. Wade or have Universal health care.... sorry Kinzie

tagged

I was tagged by Alison … is this how it goes?

20 years ago I was in Kindergarten and had just met my lifelong friends Katie and Renee. My mother had to tell my teacher that it was fine for me to be left handed since she kept trying to make me switch. And I kissed a little boy with red hair named John.



10 years ago I was getting to know my husband… ok that is weird. People shouldn’t meet their husbands at 15 but I did. And I’m glad.





5 years ago I had been married and in Portland 2 years. It amazes me how quick Portland became our home… maybe the newly wed thing did it, or our amazing friends and school and church and millions of ministry opportunities or maybe we were from there in a different life… maybe we’ll go back there in a different life.




(oh yeah and 5 years ago we had JUST gotten back from the best vacation to Hawaii with my parents)



3 years ago today I was here in Bavaria.. don’t you wish you were me?

(Yes this is me hanging over a 200 foot cliff with a baby... not a good idea... won't happen with baby #2)



1 year ago today I think I had just found out I was pregnant… I don’t know, because I don’t journal… not even the important stuff and I have a retched memory, so a year ago toady I may or may not have know about Lucy. (I am really wishing my 90 some year old Aunt Iva had a blog so she could do this ‘cause she journals every day. EVERY DAY. And she has a better memory than me .


(oh, and apparently according to I-photo, a year ago today – Jarod carved this cool pumpkin of Jude and we were getting ready to go to the circus.. so much for Bavaria).



Yesterday I dug the most pathetic crop of sweet potatoes ever. Oh it was sad.


But I did pick these delicious things…. Again… Don’t you wish you were me?



I also watched my husband polish and drool over his motorcycle as he FINALLY placed the seat on it… I think we have a café racer folks.


Today I bathed. And that is good because, people, I was smelling a little ripe (I think from digging ALL those potatoes (or maybe from nursing… I think I smell worse when I am breastfeeding – is that possible?). Anyway, I bathed and shaved… while Jude was at music class with my mom (thanks mom). I also just let Lucy suck on my nose –which is gross for both of us – but somehow quite a bonding experience. Oh and I unwrapped the senior print order I got in the mail and I'm an awesome photographer or they are just good looking kids. Oh and I am also avoiding 5 loads of laundry and ignoring the spider-man in the living room playing trains.

Tomorrow hmmmm… well we will see, but the plan is to go to the library and then out to my parents and attempt to get my 92 year old Alzheimered grandmother into my car to go back to aunt and uncle’s house. Lord Jesus have mercy. Then we will attempt to take family pictures… so yeah, you can pray for me tomorrow… that would be good.

Next week I should probably winterize the garden and do something with 10,000 green tomatoes. I should organize and plan and contact people for our move. I should bath more frequently. I should pack for my trip to NC to see healthy baby Wyatt- yeah! I should update my blog heading to include my poor daughter. That is what I should do, but what I am sure I will do is play with trains, feed a baby, and do another 5 loads of laundry.

Next year… ok, now 10 years ago I would have had a huge list of ideas and goals. However, an unexpected husband, 2 unexpected children, unexpected daily experience in housewifery in Hays, Ks and a horribly unexpected pathetic crop of sweet potatoes has taught me to expect NOTHING. Because as soon as I tell you my plans for next year – they wouldn’t happen. But this I know. No matter where I am, no matter what I am doing, I am sure to be learning the lessons I need to learn, and I am sure to be with people God wants me to love. This is the definition of both sovereignty and grace.

I tag Jessica P. Sam R. and CA RN. Have fun…. (Oh and you don’t have to add pictures… I just happened to be going through old photos last week and thought it’d be fun... but it wasn't - it was miserable )

Trains and things

I’ve been remiss this last month for not mentioning Jude’s train obsession – which has been his primary occupation and sadly has taken a large portion of my time as well. Grandma Joan and Grandpa Bob gave him a wooden Thomas the Train –like set early last month. Each morning he wakes up and partially conscience walks into the living room and begins constructing the track around the living room, which will be my gantlet for the day. Not exaggerating, I bet he spends 4 hrs each day with his trains. We have now moved from corporal punishment to taking trains away for bad behavior – it is turning out to be extremely painful for him and much more effective for us. So yes, we are all about trains around here… and a few other things...


A day at the zoo with David, John, Mom and Grandma Beads last week.




He's going to be spider-man for halloween - i asked him what was new since he is spider-man every day (while playing trains of course)... and his costume is so well loved his dad had to be sewn back together to make a suitable costume.






He has been moving trees with grandpa tom (You think I am kidding but mom color-coded the levers so Jude is actually operating heavy machinery.)





Jarod, Jude and Jarod's parents participated in an all city model rocket launch on Saturday and they actually won $105 in gift certificates but there were sadly only 4 competitors. (Jude's is the itty-bitty rocket Grandpa Bob's is the big one)


And Lucy is getting a little more photogenic ... i think

4 approaches to cocaine

Now, I do not approach cocaine with a straw or any other tooters for that matter (in case you were wondering). And I am kind of assuming that none of ya’ll do either (but please let me know if you do because that is NOT a good approach and we can get you help.)
No, in fact most of the time I would rather not think about the almost 800 tons of cocaine that flood our borders each year. Or the $70 billion dollars that we American’s spend on cocaine – that is not fun for me. As a mother of small children I purposely ignore the statistics that state there is 1 in 10 chance that my kids will use cocaine before they get out of high school. Let’s not talk about it. Why don’t we go to the store and buy some bananas and have a nice snack? Everything is lovely, we’re all lovely- let’s not rock the boat.
This is the first approach to cocaine, and perhaps many of you are agreeing with me. How about some nice baby photos or some produce right about now? Sorry, but once I discovered that Central American Authorities routinely confiscated boats carrying 5 tons of cocaine I moved to approach number 2.
“These people need to be stopped!!” Jarod just laughed at my shock and outrage, “What, did you think people were carrying it across our boarders in little plastic baggies?”
“Well, yeah! I don’t know… maybe… I guess I just had never thought about TONS of it before!” That’s a lot of money…. At $100 a gram… a ton… well… we just need to do something about that. Bring on the guns, the police, the coast guard. It’s us against them – good people and against the bad people. Stupid rotten narcotraffickers coming to get my children! Make tougher laws, longer jail sentences and tighter boarder security.
But the more I read, the more approach #2 falls apart. First of all, we’ve been there done that. And you know what? All the people who are supposed to keep us safe take bribes. They want a little bit of this gargantuan pie that is the drug trade. If you can’t beat ‘em join ‘em. And we will never beat them because where do all these farmers and traffickers come from? They come from poverty. They come from no other better way to make a real living. Supply and demand. And as long as there are poor people – there will always be people to make and get the supply to our children.
So this leads to approach #3. I like approach #3. It makes me feel warm and fuzzy and hopeful. We rich people need to help the poor people. Humanitarian aid here we come. Let’s make OTHER jobs for these people. Let’s let them grow and transport a better crop… like bananas or coffee? Ouch… this is where is hurts. They can’t, because you see through some amazingly complicated and nasty history we rich people have taken that market. And gosh darn it – I don’t want to pay more than 67 cents a lb. for my bananas! Now, how they grow those and manage refrigerated shipment all the way up to Wal-mart is NOT MY PROBLEM. Or maybe it is. Because as long as 67 cent bananas is the only employment competition for $100 a gram crack - I am in trouble. I am blaming and wanting to arrest people who grow and transport this stuff because in reality if they don’t do it they might see their kids starve. Their kids starve or my kids smoke crack. Their has got to be another way.
And there is. It is approach #4. And it kinda, to tell you the truth, sucks. It tells me that cocaine is my problem. Just like every other problem that faces our society and (in this global economy) our world – we are in this together. My greed, my sins, my willingness to live on the backs of my global neighbors has real, true, deadly consequences. And I wish I believed that approach #3 would work, but I have this inkling that most of the world is like me. That most of us are going to have a hard time paying more for coffee and bananas. That at the heart we are all more selfish than we want to believe. And you know what? It crosses national boundaries. Even if I paid $4 a lb for my bananas it is still no comparison to a narcotrafficking wage – and if given a chance a minimum wage paid farmer or fisherman in Central America would probably still take the dirty job for more money. Because greed is the human condition. This is the boat we are in.
Neil Postman, in his book, “The End of Education,” puts forth the argument that if we don’t have a metanarrative that our children can take part in - believe in - they have no reason to learn. We, in our postmodern society have lost the goal, the end of education. I think he’s right and maybe we have lost the end to life in general.
So, here’s my metanarrative – my approach #4. We are all in this boat of sin, greed, and selfishness together. Humanity, since the day we turned our back on God, has made the world what it is today. No matter what issue I look at – cocaine, the environment, poverty, child abuse, etc. – we did this and “the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time. Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the first fruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies.” But that somehow in the midst of all of this, God is bringing about a plan that my finite mind cannot comprehend but He has given me clear instruction on how to live. In faith rather than fear. In generosity rather than greed. Because of Jesus, I can be in relationship with the God of the universe… the God who is in the process of making the universe right again. And I can join him in this process. The gospel response to cocaine says, “Jude, it is about more than ‘just saying no’ for no reason – it is about saying ‘no’ because there is more to life than bananas and highs.” The gospel response says, “whether I am a grower of coca plant, a narcotrafficker, a policeman, politician, or boarder patrol taking bribes, an affluent partier weekend user, a desperate crack addict, or a housewife buying bananas and coffee, I am on a boat sinking in cocaine and the only way out is Jesus’ way.”


All this to say that last week I picked up these 2 items at the store – so approach #4 hasn’t made it from my head to my heart – to my hand with the debit card. So we are moving to Honduras December 28. Does this make sense? Didn’t think so… but I tried to explain it….