maternity

When I was pregnant with Jude I had many peers with which to share the common experience. At this time, I find the only pregnant people I know are the girls I work with at the maternity home. This drastic shift in the status of my pregnant peers has had an serious impact on my outlook on maternity and in turn society.
Previously, I was one of the youngest mothers I knew, and by far the least experienced (having never even had younger siblings or a slight interest in humans of smallish nature). I knew statistically that my life situation was stable and therefore conducive to child-rearing but my overall assumption was that every other kid’s mother was going to have it more together than my poor kid’s sorry excuse for a parent. This left me with a sense of inadequacy as a parent and very little urgency toward assisting our society as a whole.
Today, I feel no more put together than I did at 7 months pregnant with Jude, nor do I feel an adequate parent most days. But as a stare into the scared faces of 14-17 year old girls who have never even had the experience of having a real mother or father themselves, much less any life experience that has enriched them enough to have the energy and wisdom to pour into another little human being, I feel maternal instinct for the world.
If the hand that rocks the cradle really does rule the world, we are in need of some major help on teaching people how to rock cradles. I don’t really feel like I have to be all that good at it anymore… I just have to be willing to do it… consistently and lovingly; for my kids and whatever other kids show up. All I can prayer is that God will be faithful to say to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Because pregnancy this time around has made me feel old and it has made me feel urgent. I even look old… but we all look clueless…



On a lighter note…
Due to my husband’s empirical nature we have a monthly chronicle of my pregnancy with Jude. I didn’t need that much blackmail footage floating around for a second pregnancy but due to the number of inquiries into my current largeness – we took a photo. Not great on the self-esteem but accurate and all questions should be resolved.



In other news this week…
Jarod went with my dad and the guys and some youth from our church to ride 4-wheelers in a desert in Oklahoma this weekend… no one died, no one even got seriously injured – it has been a good week.




Finally, Jude is wondering about the practical purpose of the chin. Any thoughts?