Monday, June 18, 2012

How my garden doesn't grow




I am a big fan of gardening... more for the life lessons than the produce even. And I'm a big fan of preaching that, “current actions have long term consequences.” I preach this to my children. To the students. Mostly - to myself. The Biblical principle of “reaping what you sow” - applies to every second of every day. And on my “good days” I like that idea.
On my children's' good days they love the sowing that comes their way. But, since the reality of this principle is usually a long time in the learning, I spend a lot of time as a parent creating quick “reaping” so they get the connections. ( I.e. I don't want them to have to get hit by a truck to understand that if you sow careless behavior you reap early death.) So we fudge a bit and rush the reaping for our children. And honestly, I wish someone was still around to rush my consequences. I still need a little help in getting the long-term big picture. So this year God gave me this daily reminder in my garden.
You see all winter I literally sowed a little bit of laziness into my garden. Every time I had to empty the  ash bucket at night – when it was cold, dark, wet, snowy, windy, etc, etc, I just couldn't quite force myself to wander all the way back to the alley to the ash barrel. And BESIDES I had these empty boxes of raised beds that I was going to be filling with beautiful compost and manure come spring. So – in would go my pot ash. And to my laziness I added stubbornness and pride as my mother, father and husband would repeatedly tell me to “be careful” and “there was a lot of ash in there and that leeched nitrogen, you know.” Yes, I knew... but I was reaping some ignorance too. I swore that SOMEWHERE I had read that up to 20% of compost could be ash. I have no idea where I thought I read it but it SO agreed with my cold tired body that all winter long I just “went with it.” Somewhere deep inside though I knew I was wrong, but I didn't want to be wrong and I thought it “wouldn't be that bad” and surely I could get by with it for one year. But I couldn't. My garden does not grow. AT ALL.  It does not grow on my laziness, pride, stubbornness, ignorance and pot ash.
And at first I was really ticked about that. I was ticked at the garden. I was ticked at Jarod for not moving the ash bucket closer to the house. I was ticked that I hadn't had more help the day I filled the raised beds so I could have dug out a winter's worth of ash. I was kinda ticked that God couldn't make tomatoes LOVE ash... He COULD do that you know.
Then I came up with some bright ideas like testing the soil (even though I knew the problem), 3 different fertilizing techniques, or even transplanting all of my poor struggling plants. (I have this habit of trying to un-do consequences.)
And then... finally, I have begun to grow. Not my garden – but me. Every time I walk out my back door – like 30 time a day – I stare at those sad plants and think – there is no way around it. There are always consequences... maybe today – maybe next year – but what I do today MATTERS. Every second of every day I am preparing the soil of my life for future planting and harvesting. Today is worth the effort if tomorrow is going to be worth anything at all.
My garden this year is worth nothing at all... but God is so good that even it's worthlessness has great value – for as Romans 8:28 says, “we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him.” That means mistakes and even ash can be overcome... through love.
And as our life changes once again I need to know that though I fail a million times, I never rest in my own ability anyway... I don't have to get it right... because like He said to Paul... Jesus says to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” - And like Paul, I reply, “Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.” (2 Corinthians 12:9)
We aren't growing tomatoes around here this year... but we are growing... in grace.... and in KNOWLEDGE.
ASH is BAD for your GARDEN.
Just passing that on... but you may have to experiment for yourself :) 


Oh but there isn't all bad news around here. 
Life is good, in fact my goal for this week is singular: 
To get a current family photo of our “new” family. That's all I am asking of myself this week.



WE grow hair around here... we just get it cut only once a year.


We also grow butterflies... we couldn't believe we didn't kill it - from a caterpillar on the dill to a swallowtail!! 



We also made so excellent memories at my cousin's wedding in Manhattan... so great to see such good people and good families join for such a happy day.




Oh, and this is Lucy after giving up on getting her cousin to dance... they just made faces at each other instead.  Good times... good times.