I've been better but never more grateful

So… I have been sick since Jan 11th.  Super awesome year anyway. I guess.  Mostly because I’ve learned a bit from bed, and learned I should have been in bed a bit sooner.  I’ve learned a bit of grace and hopefully how to be a better friend to those who must learn to live with life long limitations.  Our bodies betray us and our lives and the live of those around us go on without us.  That is humbling.  But it is a gift.  My Uncle once told me that all of our time is “free time” - we absolutely choose what we will do with every minute.  But so often I think I HAVE to scrub the floor, or finish a project. I think I SHOULD run or read to the kids.  But I forget I CAN. I generally have the health and strength to do so.  That is a miracle.  I don’t want to forget the miracle tomorrow when I am well. And I think of Jacob when he wrestled with God and God changed his name and threw his hip out of socket.  He walked with a limp the rest of his life… his ancestors refused to eat meat from that area.  Jacob was asking for a blessing… but perhaps the blessing was simply that God let Him live and gave Him a constant reminder that life is blessing enough.  Life is too much blessing really.  We get more blessing in each day than we can absorb. So friends… family… who live with pain… who live with bodies that betray you. I am sorry. I prayed for you this month.  And I won’t forget.

So life went on... and

They are gutting and remodeling a bathroom at Bethesda

We fit 13 people in the mini van.  We used to not be so grateful that we are a two minivan family. Now we are. Well.. I AM. :)

Here's the unidentified rash that started the whole health mess.

We were gifted some sweet Saudi clothes

And Chinese clothes...

And as we say around here, "We don't have a bag any more!"

Painted sunflowers for Kansas Day. And in case I haven't chronicled this anywhere - Mrs. Crawford is AWESOME!!!!!

John decided to stay at Bethesda.  Yeah!!! Remember... gratefulness for what we have just doesn't run in our bloodline.

We celebrated Lunar New Year with... dance

And dumplings...

And said goodbye to our Alice...

My mother is trying to learn Korean.  It's incredible really.

(Oh and the kids are taking Mandarin)

And Grammee played a whole game of Monopoly on a snow day... that was incredible too!

I don't know if the audio on these things will work or if the motion will just give you headaches... but I thought I'd give it a try.

2013 video

from 38 minutes down to 14.... so much had to be cut out.  Minutes of Grandpa Bob doing Korean Dancing and probably hours of dress up and living room plays.  But still... a good recap of the year.  Our life is SO FULL.... and we wouldn't want it any other way.
Skyping to China right now... people who weren't even a part of our life this last year... but who we carry in our hearts... year after year... into this year

LET'S GO!

Supplement

I am. The least crafty person. On the planet.

The hight of my crafting each year is to sew the names of our new household members on Christmas stockings.

…

Yesterday we celebrated my parents’ 43 wedding anniversary. That is a long time.

Our Hungarian friend’s mother had a stroke this past year and last night at the celebration the conversation turned to how her mother was fairing after these many months of struggle.

As she explained in her unique way (gift 1213 in my life: the clarity of broken English), her mother’s memory is improving as her sister has found, “a medication or a supplement or SOMETHING that is helping her link yesterday to today.” “Helping her know that it was fall and now it is winter.”

… and I think … giving her hope that Spring will come.

The terror of a disjointed life begs a cure.

And so each year I “waste” the first week of my clean slate rehashing the past 365 days of photos, video clips and songs - boiling a year of life down to 12 minutes.  Begging for something “to help me link yesterday with today.”

And my Bible reading finds me in Exodus today.  For the 100th time I turn the page from the plagues to the red sea as they stand in terror - falling on their faces in fear and complaint.

“WE ARE GOING TO DIE!!!”

Next page. Water from a rock. Manna.

Next page.

“WE ARE GOING TO DIE!!!”

And I think… someone should have given them a supplement.

And me.  They are me. 

I can turn the page back on their life in awe of their forgetfulness.  

Who will turn the page back on my life and remind me?

So I create my 12 minute supplement of faces and moments that I likely almost missed in busyness.  That I am only now taking the time to say Thank you for.  12 minutes to remind me of who was and no longer is.  Who is, and almost wasn’t.  12 minutes to say, “WATCH - this may be the last year of uninhibited free dress-up dance party every day in the living room.” And breath… something beautiful is happening.

And I have heard it said, that the most beautiful masterful tapestries are a mess from the back side.  Worse than my stockings even.  So my video is my form of faith.  To hang His tapestry backward… for now. Until we get to the other side.  To say, “this must be beautiful - because He is crafty…”

“In the beginning God created…”

He’s been at it a while. Longer than 43 years. And 43 years is a long time… to be living, creating, and remembering… and far too long to be remembering and forgetting.

so…. I better get back to making my supplement - because 43 years will be here before I know it.

equalibrium

So... life goals change.  I joke among my friends that the key to happiness in all areas is, "LOWERED EXPECTATIONS."

Jarod and I's real life goal at this point is to be those people whose life is so organized that they clean out their gutters BEFORE their basement is flooding and they are screaming at each other from either ends of a half broken ladder in a downpour and 40 mile an hour wind.

That's all.

Also, my new definition of equilibrium is when my schedule is so rhythmic and predictable that neither my house nor Bethesda runs out of bread or milk at an inconvenient time - nor do I find surprises molded and spoiled surplus.

That's it.

Today, bread molded at Bethesda and I ran out of bread at my house.  That is my definition of still adjusting. We won't call it poor planning. Ok?

Halloween Ritual

On Halloween day I began to get emails from previous students around the world asking... what the "theme" of the 703 Fort Halloween was going to be this year.  I think that means we have a tradition. A ritual.
I used to think that the value of ritual was security and sameness. A warm fuzzy feeling.  But I am beginning to see ritual as a framework for 'other'.  The starting place. For unexpected things like front yard Saudi Martial arts and haunted house melt downs and zippers breaking at the most memorable moments.
Like those dumb habits that they ingrain in you during drivers ed. Check three mirrors, two blind spots, and always use your blinker.  These things become so expected that they no longer occupy a space in your mind.  Instead your mind can drive.  So third year in of costuming more than a dozen people at 703 Fort - we have a ritual.  And it makes room for - one unforgettable night.
It begins in April.  In April Jude schemes  his costume - for the one day of the year that the rest of the nation joins us in his daily hobby of dress up.  By May, he and Grandma Joan have had a few powwows - and I am confident that her very skilled fingers, perfectionistic mind, and trusty side-kick Bob - have the kids completely under control (this year she even took on Jarod).
The rest could be a visa card commercial.  Thrift store finds:$50 - time lost: 5 hours - household condition: disaster - Memories made.  PRICELESS.

Grandma Joan's Sonic Themed master piece.  And two awesome dads to play along.

Maybe the only photo I have of Michael actually smiling.

P.S.  Jarod was prescribed the egg man costume because the children call him FAT every single day of his poor life.

The rest of the anime crew.

Me and my "roomies"

The whole family  (- Alice)

Kingson thought he was Neo

Then he found an afro on the dance floor right before "gangnam style".

These Saudi boys and I... for all of our differences... one thing is true - we all like to have a good time.

...but one thing we know... the Haunted House will NOT become part of the Halloween Ritual ever again. Right Seonjin??

I was raised by elves

I don't know where or how they first came into contact with it, but my kids love the movie Elf. Though I generally am quite a scrooge when it comes to the genre of stupid humor, I have found the movie strangely endearing. This week, while slicing apples by the fire with four of the men as we giggled at the October snow falling on the green trees, I realized that the movie Elf falls into a whole different category of movie for me.

You see, I was raised by elves. Apple elves, wood cutting elves, tree elves, garden elves, sweeping elves. They are very specialized. Six of them. Six elves instead of the seven dwarves. They are big elves. Everything they do has an assembly line/work for the joy of it, feel to it. Also – they strictly adhere to the Elves four major food groups of candy canes, syrup, candy corn, and... I forget the last one. It's a tough diet for aging pre-diabetics but they are faithful. And grumpy elves are hilarious. I feel bad for them – even when they really want to be ticked off – when you stand back and look at the situation the irony of it all is too much to even repress the smile. I mean, they really have plenty of things they could be angry about – like the fact that most of the world completely under appreciates and mocks them even though their main goal in life is to make the world a better place. But no, they never get mad about that. They just have melt downs over a bug that won't stop bothering them or the fact that they can't get the pumpkins picked because they are “running out of a day light”.

And I wish I were more like Buddy – taking my strange elf childhood of giving, sharing, joyfulness, playfulness, and assembly line skill out into the broader world. But I knew by a young age that I wasn't like them. I wasn't an elf. I wasn't handicapped. I was more. I could do more.

But now I know I can't. I know I am just not hilarious when I am grumpy, I have no team mentality, and I am not all about the joy. I always tell Jarod, when I completely disregard all sanitary protocol or social norms, “Hey, I really am far more normal than I have any right to be.”

I am so grumpy about my normalcy.

I hope that makes you laugh.

P.S. The other movies that fall into my strange genre of, “Could be a warped memoir of my strange life,” are:

I am Sam

As Good as it Gets

Dream Team

Ringer

Forest Gump

1 Corinthians 1:27

But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong.

like like. mostly.

I used to hate fall. I consider that now I great sign of immaturity. It must have been solely based on associations with school. Because what is not to like about shorter and cooler days? Nothing. There is nothing not to like about these days (that is a double negative so I think grammatically that sentence means “like like”.) I do like like them. I like like roasting marshmallows on a 20 foot pole at the homecoming fire and eating Beirocks every day for 9 days straight. I like like having enough time to host potlucks with women and children from 9 different countries (I like like – that this is no longer hard to do in Hays, Ks). I like like waking up looking for an extra blanket instead of soaking my pillowcase in cold water and climbing inside for a cooling effect (yes... that is how I spend summer nights). 

Also... Exterior paint can only be applied between 90 -35 degrees and when it is not windy... which in Kansas that means there are exactly 10 days a year that you can spend more than 3 hours a day painting. Those days where the last ten days and due to some awesome help and some LONG days – I'm almost done with the garage and laundry room painting! 10 more hours and I'll be golden. 

Also, the weather held for two great events at Bethesda. Friday night over 250 community member and international students came out for hot dog roasting and pumpkin chucking on the trebuchet. We also had an impromptu scarecrow making contest and (if I may be so arrogant) my butternut squash soup to feed 300 was an autumn treasure. Then Saturday night we got all gussied up for a Hoe-Down with the developmentally disabled community of our area. They do know how to dance... well past dark and well past my kids' bed time... good thing they were going strong on a roasted marshmallow diet.

In other news Jarod and Lucy are working on her Columbus day floating boat and Jarod switched his Suri to the British version... and then realized that she understood him much better when he spoke in a British accent... so yes, they have enter a strange new stage in their relationship – and more than just I give him strange looks, “Allo, please text mum that there shan't be dinner this eve-en-ing”. Jude is officially an orange belt in Aikido and due to a horrible event involving funnel cake and bed time he has learned a deep lesson about betrayal – that I hope he will not soon be forgetting.

So the days roll on... shorter and shorter... crisper... and crisper. Tonight mom and I and some girls will head out on our yearly search of “big trash” before people's treasures all get hauled of tomorrow... and I think I am going to bake something(s) this week. Because I can. Because it is cool in Kansas. And though I like, like my life - I do like to keep it real and often the 1,000 words that photos speak are lies. We had our second birthday cake fiasco here at home (due to the asian custom of giving birthday ice cream cakes as gifts - and limited freezer space)... and in one of these photos one of my brothers had just gotten done screaming "I HATE YOU,  I HATE YOU, I HATE YOU."  mostly don't like some parts of even the best seasons.

We have begun preparations for Halloween. Hilarious but not a like like ... until the final product.