Tales from the classroom... and our TV... and the porch

My kids amuse me – but Jude's poor teacher. She never would have guessed that a boy could come home with such detailed stories and analytical questions about her pedagogical methods and the general state of the pupil population. So, the first week of tears is over, we went to the parents' night and most of the wrinkles in life's new schedule are ironed out. The food is acceptable and he has a friend, so asking, “how was your day?” - is most commonly answered with short and sincere “good.” It wasn't until yesterday that I noticed a continued progression toward more of a spectator “good” rather than a participant response. Like he had just watched an enjoyable movie rather than been instructed in anything. And yesterday it was apparent from his smirk that he considers the pageant of his classroom of the comical genre.
And how could it not be – really? With 23 kids in one room it has got to be hysterical – for the observe – for the director it must lead to hysteria. We have tales of children being sent to the principle office multiple times. In the first week. We have pant wetting tales, and sticker charts just for “not fighting” - we have copying tales and oh so much more. According to him – he is the only kid who hasn't lost his “ticket” in the last ten days... and people – he is NOT that good of a kid. I think I'll start to blog some of these stories in time... but what I am really looking forward to is getting to know these kids personally – and this teacher who is doing so well. I hope she finds as much joy in the moments of her classroom as I get from reliving them on the walk home. It's like I've got this whole new group of little people to pray for... and pray I shall, because our son is now influenced more by them than by us.

I do have one – maybe my first ever – parenting success to report. I just thought I'd share it, in case it helps anyone else. LITTLE HOUSE ON THE PRARIE mandatory TV. You see, my son has always been addicted to the screen – he comes by it naturally on both sides. And really, I didn't mind when it was Thomas the Train or some other innocent preschool show. But somehow, TV shows jump from preschool level to middle school level.
My friends tell me just to sit with the kid and check everything out – but really, I don't want to watch Ben10 at 4 in the afternoon – Sorry – not going to happen. Or search some fancy website to find out all the ratings, but I'd rather, say, read blogs – than analysis of cartoons. And even if there is something amazing on, the number of commercials per hour is sure to drain even the most safe guarded bank account. And if, just if, I found one show I trusted - the visual heroin would leave them with shakes afterward and erase all memory of how to play with the zombied lines, “PLEEAAAAAAASSSSSEEEEEE, ONE moooooooooore.”
But, really, after a long day at school I think a snack in front of the TV sounds relaxing. So here's what we did. One disk of “Little House on the Prairie” from the library each week – five 1 hour episodes that they enjoy, are edified by and can move on from afterward. I haven't heard, “can we watch a movie?” for two weeks. I am thinking we will have enough disks to make it through 3rd grade – it's my longest parenting plan EVER.

On a side note – we have 7 other people living with us now. University is in full swing, our office is in our bedroom and Asli is in the office (which is very convenient since she is right next to the kitchen and super helpful at meal times!) Ramadan ended this morning – they all went to Mosque for a celebration while I pulled bindweed - and as I pulled out of the driveway to deliver a table to a house full of Chinese students there was a group of Saudi students in full dress sitting on the front porch doing homework. I laughed to myself and thought, “Now THAT is something you don't see in Hays every day.” I mean, the Saudi students in headdress – not the huge pile of bindweed... sadly I see huge piles of bindweed almost every day.

It could have been worse - 1st day of school

Jude's first day of school - the theme for the year is "Lights, Camera, Learn" - here he is in his shirt:




I threw my little lamb to the wolves one other time -and it was also not a total success. In Honduras when we sent Jude to the bi-lingual school it lasted a month until he had a complete break down and laid on his bed for three days. That school was optional. This one is not. It is a wonderful school full of amazing and diverse people. It is the world in a building -a training ground for life - and he will do well. Eventually. Right now we are both a little shell shocked and confused by the whole group of them and their "hollywood" themed school year. A limo ride on the first day? An all school assembly of teachers in red carpet costume - making it fun - keepin' it real. But as I watch him from a distance spin lonely on the playground I wonder what he is thinking and I think, "Surely he could just learn to read at home. That's all he needs right? That. And me.
No.
It's gonna be ok Jude.
It's gonna be ok me.
Just so glad we believe in a God who loves him more than we do.
Just glad that God has a plan - 'cause I don't. Not after tomorrow.
We have marshmallow cereal and a living room camp out with the Lowerys planned... after that he is kinda on his own.

In other news - Julia and Kingson moved out - Jessie and Marrina came back. Tony and Seonjin come next week and Saad and Salah the next. Asli is staying through October - so our house will be 5 nationalities - 11 people. If you are trying to communicate with me right now and I am not quite tracking -I'm sorry - give me two weeks to re-adjust. I'm thinking of changing my blog name. Something with a little more international flair or something - but really when it comes right down to it - I'm still just a non-desperate housewife - of a really big full house.

first decade

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her,
Ephesians 5:24-26


Dear Jarod,
You do well. On this our 10 year anniversary I received a nice meal out, a string of pearls, a figurine commemorating love, patio furniture, and a beautiful lakeside trip. None of them were given to me by you. Thank you.

When I married you ten years ago – though I was attracted to your charming ways and brilliant wit – I married you because I thought you would make me a better person. I now know that you can't make me a better person. But your love if full of grace and that encourages me to be a better person tomorrow than I am today. And you have given me a life full of opportunity to try do that. A life full of favors for others – for sharing and going even when we would rather not. I life that includes late night trips to the airport. A life that includes so much time with our families. A life that is never too full for doing a favor for someone in need. A house full of people to love. A life with our children and our niece. A checkbook that is full because you work – and freely emptied when you see a need. A life full of friends and laughter. And in the midst of encouraging us to go, do, give, and be more - within you is a deep restfulness that calls me to sit by you. By the pond, on the porch, on the couch, in the mancave, with the students, with the children, alone, in front of a TV, with a book, whenever – because it really isn't about us anyway. You have brought me a life of balance and joy. The life you have allowed me to live so far – gives me gifts – and that is the greatest gift I could ever imagine.
Happy Decade.

And to those who have shared it with us... Thank you.


One more random trip. This time to Feeport Il, to visit the Arevalos - they are an example of gracious living. We have so many wonderful examples to follow.

Thanks for July

Dear God,
There are a lot of people around here who weren't such big fans of July. You may have overdone the heat a bit. 18 days over 100? only 3 days that dipped into the 80's? We weren't prepared for it - and over all - I might be a the only one who appreciated the stint in the furnace. So I thought I should send a thank you note - since the weather was just for me. Oh - and for the books - it was the perfect combo. I am sure I will need refresher courses but right now I just want to thank you for the rest and the joy. I want to thank you that I played with the three little ones for a whole month - swam with them - read with them - and enjoyed them because it was just too hot for anything else. I thank you that I learned to love the cool early mornings and to sit on the long evenings with the Suadis. You gave us so many chairs recently - around the pond - on the porch - perfect places to sit - when it was too hot to do anything else. And I liked it. I think I napped without guilt. It was a good and beautiful month. Thank you for James Bryan Smith's books - "The Good and Beautiful God" and the "Good and Beautiful Life." They came and just the right time - to meditate - when it was too hot to do anything else. It has been an amazing summer of simple calm joy. Thank you for the horrible weather, the lack of air conditioning, and mostly for the amazing people to share it all with. Please forgive my complaints. You know what you are doing.

Swimming is how I will remember these kiddos this summer - they have become fish!







Just some cute photos of summer activities and Lucy's Princess tea party - it was a blast!!

Non-dramatic

So this all started with my soon-to-be diet. In an effort to shrink my ever growing ability to out-eat both man and beast – I developed a one week “juice fast” that is going to rock my world – well, at least my first week of August. Once I had skeemed and obsessed long enough about whether or not to included raw oats – I asked my friend who is a nutritionist what he thought of the whole plan. He looked at me blankly, “What exactly is the goal?”
“To stop overeating – to shrink my stomach - so I am no longer hungry for 3 helpings.” I replied.
After a few minutes of listening to my thoughts and lifestyle plans, I again asked, “What do you think?” - expecting of course that he would think I was a nutritional genius.
But instead, “Well, I guess you can do that if you want. But what you really need to do – what I would advise is to do is - CHEW.”
“Excuse me?”
“You know, just slow down when you eat, listen to your body and chew about twice as much - you'll eat half.”

SERIOUSLY? CHEW? That was so anti-climatic!!! Especially after my weeks of planning and tabulating – he tells me all I need to do is chew. That's so simple. Where is the drama in that? The re-ordering of my life? The accomplishment? The difficulty of it all? It's too EASY.
Except it is not. I have trying to chew for a week – and it isn't working. I haven't slowed down one bit. Julia, our “rice counter” as her mother dubbed her – still literally finishes dinner 20 minutes after me. I don't exactly know what she is doing at her end of the table but I think it involves chewing. I might need classes.

And then I got to thinking. We are obsessed with drama. We are not fans of normal and easy. We want it over the top. Not simple but drawn out and fascinating. Not effective really – just interesting. like cabbage diets - or south beach - Atkins - or juice or whatever. And that is how we do life. No moderation, no simple, slow and effective. We don't really like chewing.

We have TV shows on building sandcastles and couponing – there is even a show about a guy who runs gas stations. They made it extreme.

Think of love songs, “there ain't no Mountain high enough – there ain't no river wide enough....” And I'm sure there's not – we will do any DRAMATIC thing for love – but once we reach that mountain hight and our beloved starts leaving every cabinet door open or picking their feet while you watch TV - It's all over. Loving like that is too simple. It's chewing. I think I could love Jarod really well if he had a terminal illness – but he is rather annoying and whiny with an ear infection. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME???

And economically and politically we create these grand extremist plots that tick off half the population – instead of everybody just giving a little. A little. I don't want anyone to OVERHAUL anything – I just want all those big hot shots to cut something - A LITTLE. But where is the drama in that? The accomplishment?

And then of course there is my spiritual life. I'd like a little more drama – a little less “chewing”. I think I might be willing to burn at the stake for Jesus – just as long as he doesn't ask me to give too much before I burn. Like, I'd rather not babysit a whole bunch or share my bathroom with a stranger. I'd rather not cut back on my yelling and pity parties. I'd rather not wake up a few minutes early to pray – or call someone that I know will spend two hours “dumping on me”. Those things are just too simple. Unnoticeable even. Unmentionable. Like saying, “I'm going on a chewing diet.”
“I'm working on being loving this week.” Big whoppty-do.
No one is going to make a TV show about that. No one is even going to write a blog about that. Which is why I have decided to go on the “juice fast” after all – because it requires NO CHEWING AT ALL. And while I'm at it, I think I am going on a media fast too for a week - no computer at all -because I can't just slow down my consumption - that would be too easy.

I'll work on being non-dramatic in September.

On this your third birthday

This morning - with her second breakfast of "baby 'matos"

Your favorite meal is noodles – your greatest disappointment is when someone makes the noodles too “picy.”
You eat and dribble baby “matos” like they are candy … carrying around the produce bowl, from room to room making me beam with nutritional pride and cringe with the thought of the mess.
Your cheeks are too big and saggy, your eyes like the moon -and your hair – like wisps of insanity.
You'll wear nothing but a dress and always show your underwear – which are 9 times out of ten falling down. That is if you are not in a princess costume or tu-tu. These are your preferred states if you can't be NAKED.
Your brother adores you. That's it. Adores you anyway. After a million, “LUUUCCCYYY!!!!” shreeks at the end of any day – he adores you. And, that, my daughter, is grace.
You desire him, to play with him, be with him, pee before he pees, eat what he eats, talk to him, talk at him, read at him, be read to by him, question him, deny him, boss him, and seek affirmation from him.
From all of us, “Right?, Right? Right?” - you say all day long – seeking full approval of your every word and thought. And, “actually” - correcting yourself and others, as you go.
And your “papa,” your “daddy” - is wrapped around your finger – he is hopelessly in love -worthless when it comes to actually disciplining you constructively in teachable moments, because he says, “she's cute – and she cuddles”. But you might be the only person who can get under his skin and make him insane faster than me.
You aren't even on the charts for weight, but considering the Dr. asked if you are getting, “at least 60 minutes of activity a day,” and I don't think you are inactive 6 minutes a day – their scale might be irrelevant for you.
The whole world might be irrelevant to you. At least 4 women from 4 different countries have said, “I admire her – she is so sure of herself.”
You are just three. How do I foster that wonderful confidence while the world assaults you with your faults and differences? And how do I, at the same time teach you the humility, that just maybe, just once in a while, someone else is right, and just maybe, once in a while, “me do it – me self” is not the best way?
I don't know. I don't know how to parent you at all.
When you stick your fingers in your ears instead of crying when your dad loses his temper.
When you put yourself in time out – because frankly you just need a break from me.
When you insist on doing your puzzles face down.
When you eat with your fingers like a Saudi, and still say “agua” like you live in Honduras.
You stole my confidence while in utero. But you have taught me how to pray. How to beg at Jesus feet – for something good for your future. Not come from me. For our future relationship, in spite of me.
I love you Lu.

For the sake of amnesia

I obviously don't make the time to be keep a decent blog – hence the blog I have. But I have it - because I know the dark truth about mommy amnesia. You see, I have friends with babies – friends who are potty training and friends who are fighting weird baby health issues and normal 2 year old behavioral problems. I don't actually remember any of that stuff – I know it was only a couple of years ago – and I think it was hard – but I honestly don't remember.
I also know about ministry amnesia. I know people who are discouraged by tough finances, delayed deadlines, non-responsive people, overly demanding people, dashed expectations, building plans gone awry, and spiritual lives drained to the dregs. Those times are so demanding that as soon as you leave them you develop amnesia. Like you block out all memories that were moments more than you could handle, (sometimes I wonder how my mother-in-law, raising for kids by herself, has any memory at all).
I want to chronicle the “too-much” moments in my life so that I can be gracious to those who are currently living them in theirs. I never want to give the "always-running late mom" a look of, “get it together.” I never want to give the crying pastor's wife the look of, “dry up.” So I blog to help cure my amnesia.
I also know – from too many desperate conversations, that in the midst of difficulty... of the dropping naps or bringing in new people adjustment moments – we forget to see the people. We miss the joy of the moments. So I may miss them while they are happening but I will at least force myself to sit down and chronicle them here. “The documentation,” as Alison puts it, “is so extensive – more than anyone has.” Yes, that is true, but this documentation... may it be a tool to make me humble and gracious and thankful ALWAYS.

Documentation: While typing this - I disciplined at my daughter for jumping on her bed while she was supposed to be napping, gave up on forcing my niece to eat eggs, facebook messaged two Chinese students who have been awaiting my response for over two weeks, and successfully avoided cleaning out those closets and scrubbing my floors – yet again. Also, we buried a turtle this morning and contracted someone to paint our trim, because I am OBVIOUSLY NOT getting that done. But I really should work on the Western Kansas freelance brochure I have been contracted for... to offset the $ to paint the house trim. Yes, let's all have a good laugh – I am going to “advertise” Western Kansas. Hypocrite? Actually – I am happy here- why couldn't someone – ANYONE else be?

Jude got to pitch the first pitch in a local semi-pro baseball game.


Lucy got a free hotdog while her brother pitched - and these photos reminded me so much of a photo on my blog 3 years ago - Jude -after a hot dog - age 3.




Here are some photos from my NJ cousins' trip to KS - it is a good thing I have these two photos because when I downloaded them I was seriously surprised to remember that this little trip had happened just last month.



Here's our pond before it got too scummy... there will be no more pictures of it - I'd rather have amnesia.



Here are the kids with their "homemade R2D2"


This is my only good photo of a 5 days AMAZING visit from the Bernard family. The better photographer is sending my proper documentation of the whole event :).


Colorado:









some Documentation of our 2 day colorado family get-away. Look closely because it may be the last trip we ever take our kids on - they prefer the grandparents who buy more tokens and ice cream and have fewer picnic lunches and required naps.

I like required naps - I also apparently like leftover strawberry birthday cake - I just ate two whole pieces - straight from the pan - dirtying six forks because all I wanted was "one bite" each time. Documented. Note to self: next time just get a plate.