chronicles of a non-desperate housewife: December 2012

And He has said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.” Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. 2 Corinthians 12:9

(contemplations from 5 hours shopping)

I wish I were my mother during the month of December. She was made for December. She thinks and breaths gift giving and sale shopping. She thrives on chaos and her idea of a perfect week has between 3-5 special social gatherings. It is a bonus to her if she has to plan, decorate and cook for each one. The adrenaline rush that comes from tabulating schedules and gifts bathes her brain in fresh oxygen. She has an ongoing mental list of all the people for whom she wants to say and do kind things. She knows who will get a Christmas card and lovely basket of goodies. I want to be that person.

But I'm not. I am made for January (and possibly June). The months AFTER the bigs months. The months where there is nothing to take pictures of and the only events are ones we invent to fill the empty weekends. The months full of reflection – and either warm fires or watching grass grow.

When I was a child I said I HATED Christmas. I didn't. I hated the fact that I wasn't made for Christmas. I thought everything going on was splendid, it was just too much for me and I resented that. I resented the fact that “hubbub” made my skin crawl. This year my skin is crawling but I am learning to embrace that. I am learning to love the fact that I was not made for this month but I have to do it anyway. I don't have to do it well. I will never be the gift giver, card sender, sale shopper, decorate or thoughtful friend that my mom is. And that is ok. I just have to do it with grace. My only goal is to do my best and not threaten to kill anyone. I just have to fill the cart and NOT run over the old lady. I just have to wrap the gift – not prettily – but remember who it goes to. And I have to laugh. A lot.

I have to watch December people enjoy their month, and find joy in their joy. I have to do December – because December people have to do January and June. And they will learn to do it with grace – and I will be able to stand beside them and say, “I know how you feel – we each have our moments.” And I am learning to be glad we all have different moments. Different months. I am glad I don't get out of December – I think it is making me a better person... a person who humbly says, “Yes it was a very nice December – even though: I forgot my husband's birthday twice (don't ask), spent too much on not-thoughtful-enough-gifts, ate foods that I never should have even SEEN and forgot my best friends when sending out Christmas cards.” I did my best – to give the best Christmas experience possible to those around me... and it was good enough because the BEST CHRISTMAS is freely available to whoever so would have Him. Merry Christmas.

In retrospect - I love the busy months. Like November. I loved it.